Anne Mader LMFT
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Just Breathe. Learning how to deal with difficult emotions

7/7/2015

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Compassionate abiding with yourself ~ Pema Chodron talking to Oprah Winfrey on working with sadness

12/3/2014

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/02/pema-chodron-exercise-suffering-discontent_n_6255410.html 
Excellent short clip on how to get out of the sadness rut. Click on the link above to go to the video and and talk transcript.
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Three simple Visualizations to Help you slow down, relax

6/11/2014

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Feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed? Or just need to drop in and slow down? Here are three quick, easy and effective visualizations to have in your took kit - can be pulled out and used whenever you need to build in a pause. By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS (click link to go to article)  ~ http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2014/06/3-simple-visualizations-to-help-you-relax/
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stopp - first aid for difficult situations

4/21/2013

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First, a big thanks to Carol Vivyan at GET.gg for giving me permission to share her STOPP worksheet(s).
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We all find ourselves in difficult emotional situations - the kind where we know we need to think before we speak, but we're losing perspective fast, our feelings are getting bigger, we're struggling not to react - you know those situations..... Carol has created a wonderful worksheet called 5 "First Aid" Steps for Self-Help in difficult situations. The acronym is STOPP!

S - stop and step back. Don't act immediately.....Pause
T - take a breath. Notice your breath as you breathe in and breathe
      out.
O - observe. What am I thinking? What am I feeling in my body? 
      What am I focusing on? What am I reacting to? Is this fact or
      opinion?
P - pull back! Put in some perspective. Zoom out...see the bigger
      picture. Is there another way to look at the this? What would
      someone else say about it? Does it affect others? How important
      is this situation right now?
P - practice what works. Consider the consequences. What's the
      BEST thing to do? Is this in line with my principles and values?
      Do what will help most! 

Think about situations where STOPP might be useful to you. And then think about how specifically STOPP could help you in those situations. It's helpful if you can figure out what you'd like to be different in these specific situations so you can have a goal to work towards. Try practicing STOPP on some situations that are less difficult or emotionally charged to get familiar with the 5 STOPP steps. Try picking one situation a day to practice on....it's a lot easier to learn something if you start small, and practice more often! Then when you run into a difficult situation, you'll be familiar with the steps. I't's much harder to learn and put into practice a new skill or technique for the first time during a crisis. It's sort of like learning to sail a boat, or learning to ski (or think of a metaphor that works for you). You start in calm waters or on the bunny slope, and as you get more familiar and comfortable with what you are doing and gain experience, you move on to open, choppy water or steeper ski slopes. The goal is to be successful as you learn, so again, start small! Most people tend to start "big", then think they can't do it, it doesn't work, give up etc. The tendency is to blame oneself rather than realize you may have started with a situation that was very challenging to learn on.

To help you with learning STOPP, I've included links below to STOPP worksheets on Carol's website. (clck on the link to go to workshop pages) And I'm hoping to introduce some of Carol's other worksheets that I think could be useful in later blog posts.
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPP.pdf (STOPP description worksheet - complete)
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPP4.pdf (Simple version STOPP description worksheet)
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPP5.pdf (5 column STOPP thought record worksheet)

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPPworksheet.pdf (another version STOPP thought record worksheet)
             


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3 Minute Breathing Space

3/17/2013

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The 3 Minute Breathing Space is an effective tool for building in a momentary "pause" at any time during the day, helping us to re-balance and come out of Automatic Pilot mode. And in coming out of Automatic Pilot mode, we can be more in control of/have choice over our responses, come more into the present moment, interrupt unhelpful patterns of rumination, and reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm. You can take a 3 Minute Breathing Space momentary "pause" whenever you need to throughout your day. Research has shown that deciding when and where you are going to "do something" means you are more likely to follow through on your plan, so think about your "when" and "where" for your 3 Minute Breathing Space momentary "pause". You can even put a reminder alert on your phone or computer to help you remember.
Fun fact: You might notice your breathing naturally and easily slowing down, deepening as you take your 3 Minute Space momentary "pause"....this helps to down-regulate your central nervous system - as your outbreath lengthens and slows, so does your heartbeat.


How to take a 3 Minute Breathing Space (Each step lasts about a minute)


      Step 1 - Becoming Aware
      Start by finding a an alert, yet comfortable position for your
      body and close your eyes. (or if this is the first time you are
       doing the exercise, you can read the instructions to yourself and
        over time, adapt the excercise as you want to.)
        Become aware of your body, notice the sensations of your
        feet, your hands, the surface upon which you are sitting
        or standing. Gently bring your attention to your inner
        experience and acknowledge it, asking yourself "what am I
        experiencing right now?" Become a gentle observer, just noticing.
  • What thoughts are going through the mind right now? Are your thoughts fast or slow...past or present? Acknowledge your thoughts without trying to be drawn into them or push them away....an open, gentle awareness...noticing.
  • What feelings are here? Notice any feelings of discomfort or unpleasantness, acknowledging them without trying to make them different from how they are...holding them in gentle, open awareness.
  • What body sensations are here right now? Perhaps scan your body, noticing any places of tightness or bracing, acknowledging the sensations without trying to change them in any way. Allowing any sensations to float gently in your awareness.

    Step 2 - Gathering and Focusing Attention
    Now direct your attention to the physical sensations of your breath. Notice the physical sensations of the breath in the abdomen....expanding as the breath comes in....and falling back as the breath goes out. Following the breath all the way in, and all the way out. You may find it helpful to say to yourself "I am breathing in. I am breathing out. And if the mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to the breath, using the breath

    to anchor in the present moment.

    Step 3 - Expanding Attention
    Begin to expand your field of awareness around the breathing so it includes a sense of the body as a whole, your posture and your facial expression, the space around your body as if the whole body is breathing. If you become aware of any sensations of discomfort, tension, gently bring your awareness to the intensity of these sensations by imagining your breath could move into and around the sensations, befriending them, rather than trying to change them in any way. Allow your breath and awareness to hold these sensations gently...floating in your awareness. And then expand your breathe and awareness again to include the whole body.


    And as you are ready, gently begin to move your fingers...toes...body...and gently open your eyes.




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