
Embedded from Emma Seppälä, Ph.D.
"The art of living is neither careless drifting on the one hand, nor fearful clinging on the other. It consists in being sensitive to each moment, in regarding it as utterly new and unique, in having the mind open and wholly receptive." - Alan Watts
Sitting mindfully with our sorrows and fears, or with those of another, is an act of courage. It is mindfulness as fearless presence. With patience and courage, each of us can learn how to sit firmly on the earth... feel the flood of emotions...see the endless mental stories that repeat over and over, and with the resources of mindfulness and compassion, to let them go and relax, to steady the mind and return to the present. This is a great "food for thought" article by Adam Frank, www.npr.org.
When was the last time you met someone who didn't tell you they were "crazy busy"? It seems like everyone these days is overwhelmed. From the endless tasks of maintaining home and family life to the ever-accelerating pressures of the endlessly troubled, endlessly competitive economy, it seems that all of us are running ragged. In this permanent state of hyperventilation, the issue for us all is not stopping to smell roses. It's not even noticing that there are roses right there in front of us. Joseph Campbell, the great scholar of religion, hit the core of our problem when he wrote, "People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive." But how can we experience "being alive" in the midst of the crushing urgencies that make up modern life? Well, it might seem strange, but one answer to that question is "science," at least science with a lowercase "s." Science, you see, is all about noticing. This is where it begins, with simple act of catching seeing the smallest detail as an opening to a wider world of wonder and awe. And here is the good news. You don't need a particle accelerator or well-equipped genetics lab in your basement to practice noticing (that would be science with a capital "S"). You already are a scientist. You have been since you were a kid playing with water in the tub, or screwing around in the backyard with dirt and sticks and stuff. If you want to rebuild your inner-scientist-noticing-skills, the best place to begin is with a walk in the woods. There are lots of reasons to take a walk in the woods. To get away from it all, clear your head, smell the fresh air. The problem, of course, is that even if we get ourselves into a park or a forest, we might still be so lost in our heads that we miss what's right in front of us. Practicing noticing, like a scientist, can change that by binding us to experience in ways that are thrilling, even in their ordinariness. Noticing can take many forms. One trick is to count things. Scientists love to count stuff. How many trees are there on the sides of a steep hill compared with its crest? How many leaves are there on the stalks of the blue flowers compared to the yellow ones? How many different kinds of birdsong do you hear when you stop and listen, (by the way, this requires really stopping and really listening, which is awesome). Counting things forces you to pay attention to subtleties in the landscape, the plants, the critters. Other things scientists love: shapes, colors, patterns. Do the rocks at the stream's edge look different from the ones near the trail? Do the big cattails have the same color as the small ones? Get your naturalist on and bring a notebook. Pretend you are or John Muir. Jot down your findings, make little drawings and always, always ask your yourself those basic questions: why, how, when? You don't need the answers. As the poet Rilke once said, "Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language." Questions raise our pulse and sharpen our delight. Noticing need not be a passive activity. Remember the words of the great scientist Ms. Frizzle (of The Magic School Bus), "Take changes, make mistakes, get messy." Who needs a gym when you can climb the steep face of a hill? Hoisting yourself up a tree is a great way to notice the trees, the branches and the roots. Sure, most of us won't be emulating John Muir, riding out a Yosemite thunderstorm in the crest of wildly . Still, we might climb a few low-hanging branches, forcing ourselves into questions like: "Why do the big limbs give way to narrow branches?" or "Exactly where on the branch do the leaves start to grow?" and, of course, "How the hell do I get down from here?" I am not a biologist, geologist or plant physiologist, so I am as clueless as the next guy when I get out in the woods. But these science tricks for noticing help me focus my attention and keep me present. And that's what it's all about: presence. Refining our capacity to notice is an act of reverence that we can bring to everywhere and everywhen. It's an invitation, bringing the world's most basic presence into view, opening our horizons and restoring our spirits. And that is what science is really there for. Author: Adam Frank @ www.npr.org First, a big thanks to Carol Vivyan at GET.gg for giving me permission to share her STOPP worksheet(s). ![]() We all find ourselves in difficult emotional situations - the kind where we know we need to think before we speak, but we're losing perspective fast, our feelings are getting bigger, we're struggling not to react - you know those situations..... Carol has created a wonderful worksheet called 5 "First Aid" Steps for Self-Help in difficult situations. The acronym is STOPP! S - stop and step back. Don't act immediately.....Pause T - take a breath. Notice your breath as you breathe in and breathe out. O - observe. What am I thinking? What am I feeling in my body? What am I focusing on? What am I reacting to? Is this fact or opinion? P - pull back! Put in some perspective. Zoom out...see the bigger picture. Is there another way to look at the this? What would someone else say about it? Does it affect others? How important is this situation right now? P - practice what works. Consider the consequences. What's the BEST thing to do? Is this in line with my principles and values? Do what will help most! Think about situations where STOPP might be useful to you. And then think about how specifically STOPP could help you in those situations. It's helpful if you can figure out what you'd like to be different in these specific situations so you can have a goal to work towards. Try practicing STOPP on some situations that are less difficult or emotionally charged to get familiar with the 5 STOPP steps. Try picking one situation a day to practice on....it's a lot easier to learn something if you start small, and practice more often! Then when you run into a difficult situation, you'll be familiar with the steps. I't's much harder to learn and put into practice a new skill or technique for the first time during a crisis. It's sort of like learning to sail a boat, or learning to ski (or think of a metaphor that works for you). You start in calm waters or on the bunny slope, and as you get more familiar and comfortable with what you are doing and gain experience, you move on to open, choppy water or steeper ski slopes. The goal is to be successful as you learn, so again, start small! Most people tend to start "big", then think they can't do it, it doesn't work, give up etc. The tendency is to blame oneself rather than realize you may have started with a situation that was very challenging to learn on. To help you with learning STOPP, I've included links below to STOPP worksheets on Carol's website. (clck on the link to go to workshop pages) And I'm hoping to introduce some of Carol's other worksheets that I think could be useful in later blog posts. http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPP.pdf (STOPP description worksheet - complete) http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPP4.pdf (Simple version STOPP description worksheet) http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPP5.pdf (5 column STOPP thought record worksheet) http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPPworksheet.pdf (another version STOPP thought record worksheet) Excellent article on raising awareness about digital tools (cellphones, email, FB, the Internet, etc) and distraction. (click on link below) http://chronicle.com/article/Youre-Distracted-This/138079/%3E
Wise words on mindfulness by author and long-time meditation instructor Joseph Goldstein.
"Mindfulness is the quality and power of mind that is aware of what's happening — without judgment and without interference. It is like a mirror that simply reflects whatever comes before it. It serves us in the humblest ways, keeping us connected to brushing our teeth or having a cup of tea. It keeps us connected to the people around us, so that we're not simply rushing by them in the busyness of our lives. We can start the practice of mindfulness meditation with the simple observation and feeling of each breath. Breathing in, we know we're breathing in; breathing out, we know we're breathing out. It's very simple, although not easy. After just a few breaths, we hop on trains of association, getting lost in plans, memories, judgments and fantasies. This habit of wandering mind is very strong, even though our reveries are often not pleasant and sometimes not even true. As Mark Twain so aptly put it, "Some of the worst things in my life never happened." So we need to train our minds, coming back again and again to the breath, simply beginning again. Slowly, though, our minds steady and we begin to experience some space of inner calm and peace. This environment of inner stillness makes possible a deeper investigation of our thoughts and emotions. What is a thought— that strange, ephemeral phenomenon that can so dominate our lives? When we look directly at a thought, we see that it is little more than nothing. Yet when it is unnoticed, it wields tremendous power. Notice the difference between being lost in a thought and being mindful that we're thinking. Becoming aware of the thought is like waking up from a dream or coming out of a movie theater after being absorbed in the story. Through mindfulness, we gradually awaken from the movies of our minds." Joseph Goldstein The 3 Minute Breathing Space is an effective tool for building in a momentary "pause" at any time during the day, helping us to re-balance and come out of Automatic Pilot mode. And in coming out of Automatic Pilot mode, we can be more in control of/have choice over our responses, come more into the present moment, interrupt unhelpful patterns of rumination, and reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm. You can take a 3 Minute Breathing Space momentary "pause" whenever you need to throughout your day. Research has shown that deciding when and where you are going to "do something" means you are more likely to follow through on your plan, so think about your "when" and "where" for your 3 Minute Breathing Space momentary "pause". You can even put a reminder alert on your phone or computer to help you remember.
Fun fact: You might notice your breathing naturally and easily slowing down, deepening as you take your 3 Minute Space momentary "pause"....this helps to down-regulate your central nervous system - as your outbreath lengthens and slows, so does your heartbeat. How to take a 3 Minute Breathing Space (Each step lasts about a minute) Step 1 - Becoming Aware Start by finding a an alert, yet comfortable position for your body and close your eyes. (or if this is the first time you are doing the exercise, you can read the instructions to yourself and over time, adapt the excercise as you want to.) Become aware of your body, notice the sensations of your feet, your hands, the surface upon which you are sitting or standing. Gently bring your attention to your inner experience and acknowledge it, asking yourself "what am I experiencing right now?" Become a gentle observer, just noticing.
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